How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
