i just made my gag reflex go away.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
