if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
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