He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
