just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
