WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
