At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
