I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
