I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
