It's Friday. Sex?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
