you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
