i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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