Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
