I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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