Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
