it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
