Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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