there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
