It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
where does the pee come out of this thing
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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