Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
