Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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