Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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