Sry I called you an 8
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
