like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
