in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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