So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
