he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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