I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
