fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
