She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
