So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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