I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
