Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
A+ Viking dick
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
