So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
