She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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