What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We are all done wearing pants today
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
