I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
