She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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