I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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