this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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