yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
