Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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