How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
