I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
