So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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