I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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