he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
