Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
