She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
