I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
