"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
